World's first "Ketchup Only" law proposed

(From Los Angeles Times, reprinted in the S.F. Chronicle)

Washington--
House Delegate Robert A. Underwood, D-Guam, expressing alarm last week that salsa had
overtaken ketchup as the nation's leading condiment, proposed a "ketchup-only"
bill that would make use of ketchup mandatory in all government food service. "Salsa,
and to a great extent, soy sauce, threatens the (dietary) fiber of our nation...If people
want to come to this country, they should be prepared to use our condiments", he
wrote in a letter to colleagues. 

As it happens, Underwood, who does not vote on the House floor, was not serious about the
sauces. His letter was satire, intended to make a point about pending "English
Only" legislation. "Our nation was founded on communality," Underwood said.
"English is already the common language of this country, and I consider English-only
laws as silly as this."